


Good time, not a long time

by raggedy_ginger



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Memes, Other, Parody, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 13:43:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17285165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raggedy_ginger/pseuds/raggedy_ginger
Summary: How to deal with stress and homesickness in healthy ways!Vine referencesGratuitous swearingMemesMore memesA shit ton of memesCalling the Galra homophobic for targeting the gay ass paladins of VoltronKinkshaming





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shiro is just a tired millennial who's dealing with unexpected fatherhood of four gay disaster kids. 
> 
> Also you can't put a bunch of humans in space with no entertainment and expect them not to make their own memes.

"Fucking fight me for it, you basic bitch."   
"You think your winged eyeliner will let you fly away from this battle, I will drag you by your Oreo hair back to earth."   
"Come at me, My chemical romance!"  
"I will not hesitate bitch!"   
Coran walked into the kitchen to see Keith slamming his hands down on the counter while Shiro held his arms in a dramatic T-pose.   
There was a moment of silence as the Altean stared at the two paladins and they stared back. The awkward peace was broken when Shiro leaned across the kitchen counter and snatched something off of a plate in the middle and sprinted out of the kitchen.   
There was an unearthly shriek from Keith that made Coran flatten himself against the wall as the Red Paladin dashed past him and skidded out into the hallway after Shiro.   
Once the screams of the wild humans had faded to a safe level Coran peeled himself from the wall and warily tiptoed further into the kitchen, still worried that the Paladins would come back into the kitchen like a screeching whirlwind.   
"What the quiznakking..." He muttered while looking at the crumb filled plate left on the counter.   
"We all knew Keith listened to My chemical romance." Pidge chimed and Coran jumped with a very manly shriek and took a few steps back.   
"Yeah, most people tend not to notice me if I don't move. I once scared Matt so much that he choked on his own spit." Pidge snickered and smiled fondly.   
Coran elected to ignore the slightly disturbing tidbit and instead leaned forward and twiddled his moustache.   
"Do you humans assert dominance like that often?" He side eyed the small paladin speculatively, she was small but vicious.  
"Eh. Sorta." She shrugged and tapped on her holopad.   
"Hmmmm." Coran rubbed his jaw thoughtfully.   
"But they weren't fighting to assert dominance or whatever."   
"Oh, is it a human custom?" He leaned closer and Pidge shrugged again.   
"Nah. They were just fighting over the last spice snap that Hunk made this morning." She told him blandly without looking up and Coran blanched.   
"They were threatening each other over baked goods?" His shocked answer was met a with a short bark of laughter from Pidge.   
"Heh! Baked goods. Keith would probably fight someone to get baked, especially out here in space." Again, without looking up Pidge reached out to pat Coran's shoulder reassuringly. She knew without a doubt that he had no idea what he was talking about.   
The Altean nodded absently and stood as he heard the voices of Shiro and Keith becoming louder. Coran had seen many things in his long lifetime, but seeing a paladin threatening to pull his fellow by his two toned hair to prevent him from eating a spice snap was not one of them. Coran valued life.  
And so he was going to stay in the opposite end of the ship for a quintant or two.


	2. Snacc

Allura and Coran had been through alot in their long lives. Coran had lived through the former Queen's goth phase, he'd survived and allegedly flourished on the pirate swap moons, not to mention the genocide of his people and the destruction of his Homeworld.   
Allura had been the only child of two wildly different and eccentric Altean parents, not to mention all the mishaps with her magic at a young age like that one time she'd turned the dining table into a Blammorph.   
All in all, the remaining Alteans had seen some shit. And they'd endured it.   
But despite everything they'd gone through, nothing compared to the unpredictable night wanderings of their paladins. 

Sometimes the two of them would sit in the kitchen, late at night and just talk and enjoy each other's company. Occasionally, a foraging human would encroach on these touching moments.   
One of the most memorable had been when Allura and Coran had been talking about Altea and eating leftovers as they often did when a lanky and silent form had ghosted into the kitchen. The room had fallen silent as the two most conscious people watched the half sleep walking Keith stumble to the fridge and pull it open.   
He grabbed a plate of cold meat from the meal that Hunk had scrounged up when they'd visited a market earlier.   
As Keith started to step away from from the fridge/cooling unit Coran reached for another piece of food and knocked his cup over, the sudden sound seemed loud in the peaceful room as the Alteans went dead still as Keith's head whipped around to face them.   
Bathed in the yellow light of the fridge cast the paladin's sharp features into deep shadows. His large eyes reflected the little light to an unnatural degree. For a moment he continued to watch them with his predatory gaze. Coran gripped Allura's hand on the table. The warrior slammed the door shut and whirled around, food in hand, and left the kitchen without a word.   
Allura and Coran watched him go, feeling like they'd been threatened somehow. 

Often Shiro was awake late at night, he liked to go to the centre of the ship, where the holovision deck was. He'd program the controls to imitate a different world every time. He may have been traveling through space for several years already but the majority of what he'd explored had been prison cells and creepy ships. This way he could make a list of the places he was going to go after this war. It was something to look forward to.   
On nights when the holodeck was being used by someone else or Shiro didn't feel like using it he usually wandered around the castle and found something weird and Altean to amuse himself with.   
On that night in particular he found himself in the wing near the kitchen. There were faint yells and muffled thuds, feeling a sense of obligation he went to go investigate.   
As he rounded the corner and stood at the kitchen doorway he felt a deep sense of regret.   
Pressed against one of the far corners of the room was Coran, he held a mixing spoon out towards the shadow dashing across the kitchen.   
Even in the dark Shiro could make out the small form of Pidge skittering along the floor, keeping low so as to avoid the occasional cutlery thrown by Coran as he let out high pitched shrieks whenever Pidge let out a laugh that did admittedly sound like a demonic entity.   
"Allura, the creature is back!" Coran half whimpered while Pidge hissed.   
"Where is the appley juice." The smallest paladin demanded and Shiro sighed heavily and turned, leaving Coran to his fate.   
Perhaps tonight Shiro would sleep instead. 

**Author's Note:**

> You tryna tell me that Keith's not a stoner ???


End file.
